I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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