so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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