I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i out mim tonsoeep
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