return my video game
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
