it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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