alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
