Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
