mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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