bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
wow bdsm is so cute
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
