I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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