Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I FOUND THE LEGS
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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