New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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