I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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