I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
two words: eviction party
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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