I love black thongs
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
