I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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