Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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