you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize