I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
