I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
