take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
