Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
