As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
