I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Pooping to opera.
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