She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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