She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
