I am puke
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
