you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
