yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
