His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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