I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
