something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
