Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize