also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
