..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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