Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
one two three fourrrrnication!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
