is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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