Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
