He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
