I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Someone shattered a urinal.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
