it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im holly from the hills drunk
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
