we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
