I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
