her vagine was all disorganized.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
