And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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