It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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