She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
