girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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