we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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