My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize