So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i will never coherently bang her
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
