She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
