his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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