At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
