I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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