are you still at the devil's house?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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