I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
