What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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