You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
