i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
