I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
