No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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