margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
