so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
is that a dick in a sweater?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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