I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize