We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
