OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
